22 February 2010

Character study: Loukas

Loukas tried to be meticulous in everything he did, it wasn't a need to be flashy or anything, he just liked to have exactly the right tools for the job. 
He needed to have the latest Blackberry Smartphone, the smooth contoured designer ergonomic office chair, the Mont Blanc Meisterstruck; they were his precision instruments, not status symbols as Claire had tried to suggest. 
She had insinuated it was something to do with his size, but this couldn't be true as he was only a little short, only ten or so centimetres below the average male height.
He suspected other people thought him finicky as they didn't understand properly, for example he chewed every mouthful 30 times like he'd been told to as a child; but now he also knew it helped maintain a healthy gastro-intestinal tract and, having enlightened them, it was surprising that his colleagues still didn't take similar care. 
The discussion he'd had yesterday, after Alison had excused herself again from the table before he'd finished eating, saying "Life's too short"; he'd carefully pointed out for her where she was going wrong, but she just didn't want to know.
What was wrong with other people that they didn't listen to reason; that even though he explained things to them several times, still they didn't understand?


3 comments:

  1. Brief, first reaction a criticism (apu!) but if Alison had excused herself, did she then pause to have the discussion (listen to his monologue)

    Didn't especially like but maybe dislike too strong ...

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  2. Are you setting him up to be anal retentive? If that's your intention. It's good!
    One suggestion for a double entandre' is to say 'she insinuated it was something to do with his size'; to make it more intimate.
    Ed Dean

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  3. Oh Ed you so made me laugh; and gnash my teeth for not having thought of that one! Thank you!

    You know, in this one I think I was more trying to get into the head of a particularly annoying set of characteristics; cos I'm sure that "similar characters" don't think of themselves as anally retentive ;) I'm sure they get bemused by how careless and sloppy the rest of us are; and I think part of the reason there isn't much emotion in this piece is cos I don't find this type of person easy to sympathize with at all... besides, he's a dried up, old before his time, short little man ;)

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