A pattern emerging, after a high. a day to recover and consolidate. If I call it this, it means it's not a lazy, wasted day, as I am prone to telling myself. Self spiralling patterns. The days when I get up and get energised and do stuff are great, and the days when I sit on the sofa and hobble around the flat are not great and I wonder why I can't be great all the time. What sort of failure of a person am I that I can't build on things, day by day and "become great"? What am I wasting all that potential for?
All the inspirational mantras, the "be the best you that you can be" messages on social and traditional media. Triumphing over adversity and becoming something more, the seductive appeal of the new, a new you. I'm mostly okay with just being me.