10 January 2010
Last morning
When I wake up I am pinned down, my head is anchored to the pillow. Resistance at my scalp as the skin pulls as I try to move, twist my neck. Panic clutches me, like that waking dream where my body is frozen but I am alert, I can hear the footsteps coming towards me, coming closer, I know I am paralysed and cannot escape and still they come. Breathe, gulp air, how effortful it is to do this now when aware that the allotted amount is almost up; how have I breathed unnoticed all this time? Thoughts whirl and skirl, patterns in the air, a flock of seagulls, wishing I had a picture of you, I've been looking so long at these pictures of you...
The low rumbling I hear must have been going on for several seconds now and with this the terror recedes; it resolves itself into a purr as once again my cat has come into the room in the night and now squats heavily on my hair.
I'm thinking about
6S,
anticipation,
beginnings,
cat,
fear,
morning
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment