07 December 2009

Loss

Eyelids itching, tightness at the corners.  Hopelessness, feeling an idiot for not being able to change the course of the world.  Pressing at your eyes with a tissue, tears are hot to start but cool so quickly.  Words cycling through your brain, what if, I should have, what if, maybe I could have... I'm so stupid, it would only happen to me.  Songs going through your head...
"If I could turn back time"... if I could I would still be unable to make a difference...
"If I could find the words"... if only, if only words changed something.  I understand words, I'm good at them... at least in my own language, but I've never been able to use them to change things once in motion. 
Crying stiffens the eyelashes, they gain a little crust - salt?  sleep?
I miss it all... I miss the things I took for granted and now they are gone.
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