tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9093983469819806548.post6672541670668526488..comments2023-03-30T10:16:59.102+01:00Comments on practice makes perfect: Character study: MelissaUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9093983469819806548.post-73148099846147533462010-02-23T15:41:06.471+00:002010-02-23T15:41:06.471+00:00I see you've edited this piece. It has a bette...I see you've edited this piece. It has a better flow to it. The description paints melissa alot better to the reader. <br /><br />There are afew things you can tweak in this piece.<br />I proof read and edit manuscripts, so if u want my professional take on this let me know. It may be abit intensive, but it'll draw your focus to what u need to change for more eloquent character descriptions. Well done:) practise does make perfectHasina Sulimanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06825823021096382496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9093983469819806548.post-28141119672022173062010-02-22T16:52:56.852+00:002010-02-22T16:52:56.852+00:00i believe the characters. i personally learned muc...i believe the characters. i personally learned much more about Alison than Melissa, as if Melissa were just the mirror. but i don't know that such detracts from the quality of the story any, didn't for me. <br /><br />Melissa's character does gain a good deal of complexity, i thought, with the bit at the end. taking this irritating, lazy annoyance of a woman and adding that she really was going cross-eyed--it makes her sympathetic. maybe she's doing her best? maybe she doesn't know what trying is? maybe she's just pathetic? does that mean she should be punched any less?<br /><br />keep up the good work!Jaredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08616991031174431847noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9093983469819806548.post-26103735258556735402010-02-22T15:33:50.069+00:002010-02-22T15:33:50.069+00:00I disagree with Hasina, Julia.
You're setting ...I disagree with Hasina, Julia.<br />You're setting up the character as how YOU emotionally react to her and you've done that well. <br /><br />Quick thought; take a look at how you set up the male character with little emotional feed and the woman character with mostly all emotional feed. <br />The only picture I have of Loukas is he's average height and anal retentive.ed deannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9093983469819806548.post-29769999055734984442010-02-22T05:53:33.125+00:002010-02-22T05:53:33.125+00:00Thanks Erin, I wanted to try to describe a bit abo...Thanks Erin, I wanted to try to describe a bit about a persons character, and then a situation to illustrate some aspects of the character too. <br />I'm hoping this works for the future blog posts too, and I will be trying to rein Alison back in until it's her turn ;)practicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05683589481404422674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9093983469819806548.post-72711256863600091982010-02-22T00:22:32.455+00:002010-02-22T00:22:32.455+00:00I think this is a good character description: no c...I think this is a good character description: no clichés or endless amounts of meaningful input. You've stated descriptively what Alison thinks of Melissa and in a way that invites confrontation.<br />Well done.EChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09359075647077590741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9093983469819806548.post-13427930958441949442010-02-21T17:23:59.247+00:002010-02-21T17:23:59.247+00:00Wow thanks Hasina - I have read this so many times...Wow thanks Hasina - I have read this so many times & I didn't notice that at all! I'll have to think how to get around this! Good catch, much appreciated.practicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05683589481404422674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9093983469819806548.post-19793983659763455102010-02-21T15:20:11.406+00:002010-02-21T15:20:11.406+00:00When describing characters, don't include your...When describing characters, don't include yourself in the description. Constant referent to 'I' in addition to the existing 2 characters doesn't work well.Hasina Sulimanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06825823021096382496noreply@blogger.com